52 Weeks of Happiness Week 26

This week, I tried to find a seemingly tiny pleasure. It's something I did that made me very grateful for my life and very happy.

Hubby left his lunch at home. I leave after he does, so I grabbed it.

I texted him, "Have your lunch, will bring it to you around 12:15."

BECAUSE I CAN.

Because with my new part-time job, (same job, new to part-time) I have the ability to leave at noon each day. I got my stuff together, headed over to hubby's work and was able to have 20 minutes with him while he ate.

So here's my pic. Before I left my work, car is in Park, time (5 minutes fast), and the lunch. Small pleasure that meant a whole lot more.



What small pleasures are there in your life?

b

Inner thoughts that need to escape

I do a lot of things with optimism. If I want something, I act as though I already have it to the best of my ability. I tell myself I have it.

I don't understand why I want it to happen now.

Dear Lawdy! Grant me patience.

I don't know why I still doubt that I can really do this. I have a lot of layers of optimism over a tiny, nagging, won't-go-away bit of fear.

If the optimism is so big, why does it not stomp out the fear?

All I know to do is to keep going. And keep dreaming. Because the things I dream can come true, I just have to be open to receiving them, WITHOUT fear.

And all I can do daily is try to focus on the optimism so I may stomp out that damn fear.

But some days I am so impatient I want to explode.

52 Weeks of Happiness Week 25

This week, my sweet little guy started pre-pre-school. Well, that’s what we like to call his 2 day a week toddler class, anyway.

I have to say, I was very excited about it. I think my husband had a harder time than I did, considering I was nothing but excited.

I had perhaps the busiest four hours between four classes and a quick trip to his school to be there when he was dropped off for his first day.

My mother in law and her best friend were there too, and let hubby and me go ahead down the hall to his room. This week was tough, long, and up and down, but this moment was captured and it is something that happens quite often and always brings me tremendous joy.



I can't express how much this makes me feel like a million dollars. A simple thing like asking to be picked up...I know I'm his mama, he knows it, and I really feel it. A very simple, very real, very true joy.

52 Weeks of Happiness Week 24

This past week, my happiness came from a little me time. First week of inservice and part time, and I still found I didn't have enought time.

I did, however, make it to the gym for a swim one day. And get this? I had the ENTIRE indoor pool to myself.....for a good 20 minutes. It was so nice, so quiet, so fluid in my strokes, so wakeful. All the stretching I do underwater in between strokes is really amazing. When I was pregnant, this was my chosen form of exercise. I often went after a work day, and the extreme change from dressy clothes, little kids voices and long meetings to quiet, weightless body lifting of water, and slow stretching could not have been a more separate feeling. I felt like I was in a COMPLETELY different place, and it always shifted my attitude from a stressful day to a quiet, mellow night.

Behold, my people-less pool.

No happiness right now...

Yin and Yang, love and indifference, rain and sun. If you don't have one, you can't have the other. And if you've had one, you certainly appreciate (or depreciate) the other.

For me, I know what sadness is, so I dearly grasp onto and continually search for happiness. It's much better.

I'm very sad today. I have one measly little day left of summer vacation. This may very well have been the best summer of my life.

I'm going back to work part-time, and I know when I get there my sweet students and wonderful teachers I work with will make me feel welcomed and at home again. But I have spent 10 amazing weeks with my flesh and blood. I've watched him grow leaps and bounds, and I want to be there all the time for this. It's killing me knowing I am even leaving him for a little bit.

For the first time in my life (exception: maternity leave), I really understand that people can say how much they love getting up in the morning...that they love the anticipation of another wonderful day. They truly are excited about waking up and getting up, and enjoy their days because of this. And you know what this leads me to believe and know about myself?

I am meant to be a mom.

NOT because I am perfect at it. No ma'am! I am only human. I know this because it is the only thing I have ever done consistently that leaves me aching for more. More days, overtime, and no need of benefits other than love and kisses. Yep, I know the frustrations so far of motherhood, but it's worth every.single.minute. It's pure joy.

I can only hope and pray that the man upstairs has it in his plan for me to be a mom twice over, but only time will tell.

I am thankful, not daily, but hourly, for the blessing of motherhood. I have never felt love like I feel for my child. I am in love with my husband in a way I had never felt it before him. In both these cases the love is pure, and different everytime I feel it. Love is far and away the most powerful force in the universe.

Tomorrow I intend on enjoying of course. I know I will. But I can't help but dread those first days of inservice before the students get there. The real reason I teach won't be there for another week and a half...let's just get there. Then maybe I will begin to find some balance. Who knows.

I want to be with my son to watch his eyes open up to new things. I want to be there daily. But I won't be the one opening his eyes up everytime. So maybe this is God's way of teaching me to let go.

But I won't ever let go all the way. No mom ever can, I am convinced.

if you made it this far, thank you...

52 Weeks of Happiness Week 23

I have tried to enjoy every moment of this week, but the fact is, it is tainted. Tainted with being the LAST week of summer vacation.

Where the hell did the time go? I was JUST sitting in the big room with the entire faculty saying goodbye for the summer...

I've done my best to have a good final week. I have one more day. But as for Week 23, I had a VERY handsome date for lunch one day. Wednesday, my friend Morgan and her baby (2 months younger than my guy) accompanied us to lunch at McAlisters, which you can never go wrong with.

Because we are a picky toddler, we hadn't been eating all that well...but this day, he ate his macaroni and applesauce very heartily and well, and I was pretty happy to have him as my lunch date. Not to mention, it was just as wonderful to have someone around who could take our picture, so mommy got to be in a shot for once!!

What can you do every day?

Gretchen Rubin wrote this wonderful post about ten things that she knows she WILL do everyday, even if nothing else gets done. Please please read it! I thought, of course, about what my list would look like. Here's what I know I do everyday. (with of course, the normal exceptions, whatever they may be. I can't kiss my husband if he's out of town, but you know what I mean.)

1. Kiss my husband.

2. Love on my son.

3. Pet my beagle.

4. Wear my seatbelt.

5. Have a cup of coffee, and relish the taste.

6. Straighten something up.

7. Stretch thoughtfully, and stretch with no rush.

8. Enjoy the pitter patter of the shower water on my back.

9. Breathe in and out, thoughtfully, at least one time slowly.

10. Take a picture, for a creative outlet or to capture a moment.

11. Hear some sort of music.

And all these things make me happy....all of which I do DAILY. Take pleasure in the small things, for in the small things lie great happiness and fulfillment.

52 Weeks of Happiness Week 22

A bit late again. Whatever, at least I'm not skipping!!

This past week has been full of great things again--Mommy & Me, swim lessons, a doctor's appointment, and much more. BUT, Friday night, when my mother-in-law's brother and wife came in from California to meet my little guy for the first time, we got some adult time in.

A wonderful Memphis restaurant, Paulette's, just recently moved from it's Midtown location to Harbor Town down by the river. We went there for appetizers and I got some wonderful shots of the river and the sunset. The blue cheese chips were amazing, and so was the Savignon Blanc.

Then we went east again to go to a new restaurant called "The Elegant Farmer." All of their veggies and food are all locally grown. It was an amazing meal! I tasted every bit of the flavors in my chicken and sausage etouffee, which happened to be placed upon cheese grits instead of rice. Oh. My. God. YUM! And as we left, I had to snap their sweet bit of southern charm!