Inner thoughts that need to escape

I do a lot of things with optimism. If I want something, I act as though I already have it to the best of my ability. I tell myself I have it.

I don't understand why I want it to happen now.

Dear Lawdy! Grant me patience.

I don't know why I still doubt that I can really do this. I have a lot of layers of optimism over a tiny, nagging, won't-go-away bit of fear.

If the optimism is so big, why does it not stomp out the fear?

All I know to do is to keep going. And keep dreaming. Because the things I dream can come true, I just have to be open to receiving them, WITHOUT fear.

And all I can do daily is try to focus on the optimism so I may stomp out that damn fear.

But some days I am so impatient I want to explode.