Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Standing up for Yourself

I have NEVER been good at this. It is almost excruciating to stand up for myself when I'm faced with someone who in some way has power over me. And I know, "No one has power over you unless you let them." Please deal with my extreme cynicism today, but that is largely BS. I can't just choose to have someone not make me feel a certain way, it is a major process. A process I have never figured out -- even how to begin to do this.

AND, additionally, anyone who is your boss has power over you. So there. You can't argue with that. They have power over your salary, your hours, exactly what work you do, etc. We have power over how we perform and how we react to these things, but they put you in that position. And when it comes to work, sometimes you may not have a choice. It might sound nice to quit your job and go for your dreams, but in no way is that realistic. Not if you have a family. Not if you are supporting yourself. It is just not real life.

I have spent the past two months in meetings alternating between my two bosses. Today we met together. I fought very hard for my contract. When it was first issued, the hours and pay had been drastically changed. The salary felt like a tremendous slap in the face. I fought very hard for my pay. I made an incredibly FAIR case. What I was proposing was tremendously fair, and I was FINALLY sticking up for myself. And I actually felt pretty confident.

After these months of meetings, waiting, fighting for a job description, waiting, and more waiting, I was reissued a contract.

Nothing had changed.

People say good things happen when you stand up for youself. They say at least you feel better about yourself.

I do not. I feel completely defeated.

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