Part of being on the Happiness Journey is figuring out how to stay there. It's about figuring out what DOES NOT make you happy or what stresses you out, and how to turn that into something happy.
I've always wanted to have a therapist. When I was going through the worst of my clinically diagnosed depression and anxiety (now I am living better through chemistry), I was seeing someone. My parents were gracious and understanding enough to help me not stress further over the money. But I went several weeks, and spent all the time just talking. I was never really given any advice or assignments to make me feel better. I was simply paying him to listen, when I was also being listened to by people who already knew me and wanted to help. It was very un-fruitful. What a disappointment.
I still would love to find someone. After being tremendously (and quite often) highly anxious for so long, I pretty much refuse to take any of it in anymore. It scares me now when I feel like I'm about to have a panic attack because I don't want to fall back into that yucky place. So when something comes up that I don't want to deal with or don't know how to deal with, I want to and often do shut down.
Not so good. I feel like a therapist would help me through this stuff. After all, SARK has written in her books about proudly seeking mental health professionals, since it's a part of our health too. Go to the general practitioner, your ob/gyn, and a therapist for optimal health. Makes sense to me.
I don't know how to find a good one, but I've thought a lot about it in the last week. Now that all this has come to light recently too (about not wanting to perpetuate un-happiness cycles), I think I might be able to approach things in a different way. And fortunately, I have a very supportive and logical (but sensitive enough) husband to really help me along the way.
So when I see something yucky on the horizon, I am now DETERMINED to nip it in the bud, before anything anxiety-inducing ever comes to fruition. It may take a while for this to become my new habit, but it's a new self-promise.
Hopefully, by writing this, I will become more accountable to myself and cyberspace.
Showing posts with label SARK. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SARK. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
SARK's Micromovements
I'm not sure in which of SARK's books she first wrote about micromovements, but it really spoke to me. I still like SARK, but really found her color and hand-written books enthralling particularly in college.
This book was my first one. I need to bring it out again!
She has a wonderful outlook on life, and has strived to be very happy and embrace all things HER. But of course, not in an egotistical way. She accepts her faults and knows what to do with them. She loves a good nap. And she knows that need-to-do tasks (or even want-to-do tasks) can be very daunting. So, she suggests micromovements. As I am about to enter into a new phase of work next year, doors of possibilities are now open. That does not thrill (completely) someone with my personality. It scares me. I don't like challenges. Which is why Gretchen Rubin's book has helped so much already too. Her Happiness Project was given a full year to really work on it. She didn't rush. She took time to plan, then implemented and tweaked.
When you marry micromovements and taking your time and living in the moment, you get this outlook when you are overwhelmed : What do I have to do today, right NOW, to make improvements?
Yesterday, when I was really heartbroken at the unfairness of my contract, I was completely bummed. I am terrified of what I have to do next to make more money. But I started thinking about only what I have to do NOW, or THIS WEEK. And I remembered that my husband will understand that new things take time.
ANYWAY, here's an excerpt on micromovements. You can download the PDF for yourself here.
Micromovement Reminders
1. Choose a tiny step-something you already know how to do. If you want to write more letters, a good micromovement would be: Tuesday 2pm, put stamps and paper and pen in same spot.
2. Write down your micromovement with a date and time. You can always reassign it. It has more value in the material world when it is written down.
3. As soon as you've completed your micromovement, choose the next one and write that down.
4. Micromovements resist repetition. Example: "My micromovement is to write in my journal every day for 5 minutes."
Sound reasonable?
It may sound reasonable, but it isn't. Here's why:
The first time we get a headache, or don’t feel like writing, or just don't do it, the inner critic lurches forward with pleasure and says, "Aha! See! You can't even write every day for five minutes. You'll never be a writer….blah blah blah."
Simply make it smaller:
Tomorrow at 8pm write in my journal for 5 minutes
5. Get micromovement support. Find a friend who is eager to work with micromovements and check in with each other on completion schedules.
Note: Do not engage in faultfinding or sarcasm when you falter. Choose a sensitive and kind friend doing inner critic work.
6. Collect notes about your micromovements all the way through a project, and study how you did it. We often forget our own ways and methods.
7. Be willing to practice this system and continually forget about it, fail at it, yet still have faith in yourself and your creative dreams.
8. Be willing to get smaller. Most micromovements are too large. In fact, we assign ourselves projects that are much too big and then get discouraged by our own inactivity.
More micromovement example:
I wish to make a big purple pillow
Micromovements:
1. Call Nancy Wed. 10am ask where she got the great purple fabric
2. Thu 11am, put fabric near sewing machine
3. Fri 4pm, draw two types of pillow ideas
4. Sat 2pm, assemble supplies for 5 minutes
5. Sun 5pm sew a tiny purple pillow cover
Slowly and surely wins the race. Thank you, SARK, for your years of inspiration!!
This book was my first one. I need to bring it out again!
She has a wonderful outlook on life, and has strived to be very happy and embrace all things HER. But of course, not in an egotistical way. She accepts her faults and knows what to do with them. She loves a good nap. And she knows that need-to-do tasks (or even want-to-do tasks) can be very daunting. So, she suggests micromovements. As I am about to enter into a new phase of work next year, doors of possibilities are now open. That does not thrill (completely) someone with my personality. It scares me. I don't like challenges. Which is why Gretchen Rubin's book has helped so much already too. Her Happiness Project was given a full year to really work on it. She didn't rush. She took time to plan, then implemented and tweaked.
When you marry micromovements and taking your time and living in the moment, you get this outlook when you are overwhelmed : What do I have to do today, right NOW, to make improvements?
Yesterday, when I was really heartbroken at the unfairness of my contract, I was completely bummed. I am terrified of what I have to do next to make more money. But I started thinking about only what I have to do NOW, or THIS WEEK. And I remembered that my husband will understand that new things take time.
ANYWAY, here's an excerpt on micromovements. You can download the PDF for yourself here.
Micromovement Reminders
1. Choose a tiny step-something you already know how to do. If you want to write more letters, a good micromovement would be: Tuesday 2pm, put stamps and paper and pen in same spot.
2. Write down your micromovement with a date and time. You can always reassign it. It has more value in the material world when it is written down.
3. As soon as you've completed your micromovement, choose the next one and write that down.
4. Micromovements resist repetition. Example: "My micromovement is to write in my journal every day for 5 minutes."
Sound reasonable?
It may sound reasonable, but it isn't. Here's why:
The first time we get a headache, or don’t feel like writing, or just don't do it, the inner critic lurches forward with pleasure and says, "Aha! See! You can't even write every day for five minutes. You'll never be a writer….blah blah blah."
Simply make it smaller:
Tomorrow at 8pm write in my journal for 5 minutes
5. Get micromovement support. Find a friend who is eager to work with micromovements and check in with each other on completion schedules.
Note: Do not engage in faultfinding or sarcasm when you falter. Choose a sensitive and kind friend doing inner critic work.
6. Collect notes about your micromovements all the way through a project, and study how you did it. We often forget our own ways and methods.
7. Be willing to practice this system and continually forget about it, fail at it, yet still have faith in yourself and your creative dreams.
8. Be willing to get smaller. Most micromovements are too large. In fact, we assign ourselves projects that are much too big and then get discouraged by our own inactivity.
More micromovement example:
I wish to make a big purple pillow
Micromovements:
1. Call Nancy Wed. 10am ask where she got the great purple fabric
2. Thu 11am, put fabric near sewing machine
3. Fri 4pm, draw two types of pillow ideas
4. Sat 2pm, assemble supplies for 5 minutes
5. Sun 5pm sew a tiny purple pillow cover
Slowly and surely wins the race. Thank you, SARK, for your years of inspiration!!
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